Less than Sensational Mommy

Our daughter has been struggling lately.... ALOT.

We have gone through a lot of changes lately...

Graduating from Preschool

Flooding in our town that has affected alot of our family

The kick off program at her 'new' 'big' school.

Storms (rain, thunder etc)

Family changes (displaced family members have been around our home a lot more than usual).

Started our 'first' organized team sport (soccer).

Summer in general-- meaning Mommy isn't the most structured and schedule orientated as she should be.

We have been dealing with alot of meltdowns (they are different than tantrums) because things aren't the way that they 'should' be. We are dealing with a lot of anxiety because things aren't the way they are 'supposed' to be. Schedules aren't working, structure is non-existant in our home as of lately.

My 'fly by the seat of your pants' lifestyle is NOT healthy for my "I need structure and routine" child.... I know this. During the school year it is alot easier because my child is in 'school' for a big portion of my 'crazy' day so  I only have to make sure that I structure later in the day. Let's face it... I suck at structure and routine. Plain and Simple... God really messed up when he blessed me with this amazing child. I mean really... apparently he didn't REALLY think it through. I am bound to screw this child up ....

But because of these changes we are also seeing a 'sleep' change which lets face it... SUCK BIG TIME!!! She needs sleep... I need sleep. and quiet frankly, I'm not sure I can survive another night on the couch with a restless 5 year old because she needs the lights on to sleep so that the storms can't get her.

But THIS I can do... I can do the couch night after night cuddled with a very warm active, restless 5 year old who is scared of her own shadow. I may not be able to make her day go right... but I can make her night go better... and if me not sleeping well lets her sleep... then THAT I can do.

I may be the mom of a sensational child, and of a sensational family... but I will never claim to be a sensational mom... because let's face it... lately I have been less than sensational... ALOT.

SPD Blogger Network

When we first began on our journey with Sensory Processing Disorder we went into full research and find out everything mode. I looked for everything and anything that had even a tad to do with Sensory Processing. I looked for organizations and books and website. By far one of the best websites I found was actually a blog. It is called "Hartley's Life with Three Boys". Hartley being the mom of kiddos with "quirks" was willing to share so much information about her family and how they delt with different situations etc.

I read her blog over and over... and through reading her blog I also happened upon the Blogger Network. The blogger network was basically a 'list' of bloggers who also discussed their children's sensory issues and shared their experiences and advice and offered support to others. It is a wonderful resource but it took a lot to check all the different blogs every day.

Well now it's even easier... now you can go to one site and read several posts/day about the amazing world of sensory processing disorder etc. Anyone can contribute to the blog and editors/moderators will set when posts will publish etc but it's awesome!

There are stories about finding babysitters for our special needs kids, how to deal with 'others', etc. There literally is a post about everything.. and if it isn't there... maybe you could write it and help someone else ... 

You should check it out... and in the event that you are a sensational parent and have some stories to share... you should :)

You can find the SPD Blogging Network by following the this link:

http://www.spdbloggernetwork.com/

I promise... you won't be disappointed

It happened...

For some time I have been dreading the "Loose Tooth" that I was knew was coming as Shelby gets older. Shelby has watched her older sister lose teeth and frankly, it hasn't been pretty. Shelby would cry and scream and be in full out meltdown mode as her sister would work her tooth loose and when it would eventually fall out Shelby would scream because of the blood that almost always follows the newly fallen out tooth.

Last Thursday I was sitting at the computer when an email popped up from the girls' teacher (Shelby and her twin sister are in the same class) with the subject line "tooth". This could not possibly end well... as the panic and dread began to fill my system I clicked on the link that opened the email and this is what it said:

Kristin,

Shelby was eating her banana at lunch and not sure how

But bit down just right and her bottom tooth is very loose!

She had a bit of “freak out” but now she is ok.

She wanted me to call so I said I would email you.

:)Denise

OK...  we can deal with this right? I got this email about 25 minutess before the girls' were dropped off by the bus... so I started getting myself ready. I was thinking of what I was going to say, how I was going to comfort her etc. I had a plan in hand and I was prepared... or so I thought.

I see the bus stop in front of my house and the dread fills my body... it has been such a good day and I just KNEW that this was going to put an end to it all.

I walk to the end of the drive to get the girls and Shelby bounds off the bus and says "Mom, my tooth is loose... let's get it out. Can you pull it out please?"..... huh?

I stand there for a moment in shock... and even look around to make sure there aren't cameras somewhere and this was an episode of "PUNKED" --- does anyone but me remember that show??? You know Ashton Kutcher pre Demi Moore???--- anyways.

We head into the house and I get some tissues and a few q-tips, I was expecting it to bleed. I ask to see the tooth and it is sooooooooooooo loose, it is barely hanging on.

So I ask her if she wants me to wrap her up in her hot dog blanket (its a lightly weighted blanket) and she says "No thank you... I can do this". So we sit on the floor and I ask her to open her mouth. I tell her step by step what I am going to do... "Mommy is going to touch your bottom lip now, is that ok", "Mommy is going to wiggle your tooth, is that ok" etc. I barely wiggle the tooth because I am expecting screams and tears... I get none. So I wiggle it a bit more ... still nothing. I realize now that I am going to have to push fairly hard to get the tooth to pop. So I tell her "I have to push hard ok?" she says as best as she can with my fingers in her mouth "Ok mom"....

So I do it... and POP!!! out comes to tooth... her eyes get wide and her smile gets big... well as big as it can with my fingers in her mouth. I quickly grab the q-tips to push into the space that once held her tooth so stop the blood that I knew would make her gag  (she did gag, but thankfully we did not throw up)... and she was done!! Once the bleeding stopped she had to call Daddy, Grandma, etc to tell them.

And what does Shelby say when all the phone calls are done and we have all calmed down?

"When is that fairy gonna get here with my money????"

Yep... THAT'S my sensational kiddo :)

Book Review: This is Gabriel Making Sense of School

When I started out on the journey to discover as much as I could about Sensory Processing Disorder and the other conditions my children have I happened up on a blog called "Hartley's Life with 3 Boys". This blog and its author have been a god send to myself and my family.

Hartley shares the good, the bad, and most importantly the honest aspects of Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety etc. on her blog... and its all REAL!!! After I had spent days and weeks a couple of minutes looking through the many posts on Hartley's Life with 3 Boys, I noticed that she has also written a book about Sensory Processing Disorder, and it is called "This is Gabriel Making Sense of School: A Book about Sensory Processing Disorder".

 

 This book QUICKLY went on my  MUST HAVE LIST.... and let me tell you it was certainly worth it! Not only does Gabriel Making Sense of School talk to kids (and some adults) on a level that everyone can understand, it also fully describes why our children do the things they do and why we need to help them and to understand that it is more than a 'choice' for them.

As soon as the book came in the mail, I sat down and read it, and then I read it again and again and again. And it taught me something each and every time I read it. For example, I had know for a long time that we had  5 senses ( taste, smell, sight, hearing, touch), but do you know we actually have 7 which include vestibular and proprioception.  We had talked about Vestibular and Propriocention input etc at OT but I never in my life realized that it was a 'sense'. Who knew.... Hartley did :)

Once I had read this book a million times I then read it to my children (ages 7, 5, 5, and 3) and my 7 year old who has always struggled with understanding her sister looked at me and said "Mommy... I get it!!! I get why Shelby is the way she is"... and I beamed ... "Yes Delainey... that is why Shelby is the way she is"...

It was then that Delainey said something that I've been thinking for a long time myself "Brody has this too huh mom?".... 

So long story short... BUY THIS BOOK!!!! I will be buying more this fall to hand out to my daughter's kindergarten teacher and also another book for my son's preschool teacher. It is HANDSDOWN the best book on the market when it comes to relating SPD to not only children... but adults as well.

Thank you Hartley for helping not only me but my family understand Sensory Processing Disorder a little bit more.!!!

You can purchase this book by visiting THIS LINK!!! Amazon has amazing service and really fast shipping!!

Sometimes I'm jealous

Let me 'paint' you a picture....
You are standing in line at the grocery store and you have all your children with you (in my case this would be 4, ages 3-7). You have had a fairly successful trip. There was only one minor meltdown and that was because the lights are to bright and some 'kind' person had commented to your child about how he didn't need his sunglasses on 'in' the store, especially since it was dark outside. You are even beginning to think you are going to make it through the store as a successful shopping trip.
That's when the person ahead of you in line begins to complain.... they are complaining about the price of the milk, then that the cashier isn't putting things in the bags the proper way, and why didn't they ask if they wanted paper bags rather than plastic....it just keeps going. Someone obviously is having a bad day and it taking it out on some innocent bystander who, let's face doesn't get paid enough to put up with this kind of crap.
AND THEN IT HAPPENS.....
Your child pipes up (of course in a loud voice).... "You don't have to be so mean. They are just doing their job".
The mom in you wants to do one of two things.... 1) pray the the floor instantly produces a giant sink hole, that transports you and your groceries into your home without the person ahead of you ever actually seeing your face and 2) jump for joy because you child is starting to pick up the differences in conversation and what is polite and proper versus impolite and rude. I mean come on lets face it... this is hard to do when you can't pick up sarcasm or for some people/kids even the difference in tone of voice.
There is one more thing that is going through your mind.... and that is wanting to scream from the mountain tops " NO KIDDING!!!!".
Let's face it... we have all the those moments where our child (special needs or not) has said something that while socially unacceptable and probably not correct, we ourselves were thinking and were just DYING to say... but our social etiquette stopped us.
These are the moments that I look at my now 5 year old and stare at her in awe.... because of her 'quirks' she can speak her mind, and we can 'pretend' that we are appauled by what she is saying, but inside we are celebrating that she didn't need the 'guts' to say it.
I think my "brother" (he is actually my cousin but we are closer than most siblings) said it best one day as I was apologizing for Shelby's 'frankness' and telling her she had to speak properly to adults, he looked at me and said "Kristin... I like that kid"... I of course looked at him rather puzzled since she has just seconds before said something very inappropriate "She tells it like it is and has no problem doing so... That's the way to do it"
It is moments like this that I am jealous of her uniqueness... and wish just once or twice I could work up the nerve to say what I am thinking.

Amazing Give-a-way

Soft Clothing for All Children and The SPD Blogger Network are co-sponsoring an incredible Sensory Friendly Spring Giveaway!  2 Grand Prizes will be given (one for boys, one for girls), and will each include the following sensory friendly items, which focus on fine motor development, dramatic play skills, sensory integration, creative expression, auditory exploration, and of course, fun!  Whatever holiday or season your family celebrates, there is something in this stocking for someone you love!

 

Links you may need for your entries:

SPD Blogger Network

Soft Mailing List

Soft Facebook Page

SPD Blogger Network on Facebook

"I'll Tell You Why.." on Facebook

Soft on Twitter 

 

Your Sensory Prizes!

 Puffy Easter Basket (Chick) Pottery Barn Kids (boys prize)

Puffy Easter Basket (Rabbit) from Pottery Barn Kids (girls prize)

"I'll Tell You Why I Can't Wear Those Clothes," by Noreen O'Sullivan

Soft Seamless Sock 2-pack

Vestibular Wedge

Sensory Body Sock

Alex Toys Monster Bubbles

Alex Toys Sack Racing: Frog and Monkey 

Squiglet Fidget Bracelets 

One complete Springy Soft look for girls OR

One complete Springy Soft look for boys 

 

To enter this give away you can visit THIS LINK and see the way that you can enter (multiple times) for this amazing gift basket. ENJOY

it started with a birthday party

It all started with a birthday party…

All four of our children were invited to a birthday party (the kids’ birthday that is mom and I are friends therefor the kids are friends). I of course RSVP’d that we would be there with bells on. I told the kids, they were excited…heck so was I.

There were several things that I didn’t think about when I RSVP’d for the party. I didn’t think about the fact that they were serving pizza (two of my children don’t like pizza… specifically Shelby), I didn’t think about the fact that the party started just an hour before bedtime, nor did I think about the fact that it was on a Friday (Fridays are pretty much always a ‘meltdown’ day). But what I REALLY didn’t take into account was the fact that it was going to be held at a bowling alley.

We got to the party 5 minutes late and it struck me like a ton of bricks when we walked in the door… it was loud and bright and did I mention loud? We quickly found the group that was our party and got ‘settled’… well as settled as you can get in a bowling alley on a Friday night. 

Our group was sat next to a group of adult guys who weren’t exactly expecting to be in the middle of a bunch of kids for a birthday party…. They were drinking and possibly using some words that shouldn’t have been used in front of children…. They tried hard to clean up their act – without even being asked—but that didn’t stop my children from commenting on the bad choices and of course my child who ‘lacks a filter’ had no problem telling the guys that their choices were “NOT APPROPRIATE” very loudly.

Bowling didn’t go well … she didn’t understand why it was so loud or why it was taking so long for it to be her turn… or how another child’s name was similar to hers and would notice the letters thinking it was her name and it wasn’t. 

We sat down for pizza… she didn’t get to sit where she wanted.

She didn’t get the cupcake she wanted…. She had to wait for the one she did.

All the while she kept it together. There were no meltdowns. There was no crying.

Yesterday that is.

Today however we are paying like the dickens.

We are melting down at the drop of the hat.

We are crying. We are sassing. We are tantruming. We are screaming. 

And today was a new ‘high’ for us… we experienced raging. This is not something we have ever had before.

She recently learned how to tell us why she is ‘mad’ ‘sad’ or whatever emotion she is feeling today she has not been able to do any of that.

She has been in swimming lessons for several months in the same class… today was testing day. We thought for certain she was going to pass… she has all the skills. But because she was so over-sensoried    today she failed. She wasn’t able to follow through with a single request of the instructors; she wouldn’t even get into the water. 

Today was a hard day in the life of our sensational family… it is 8pm and my husband and I are both exhausted and worn out. Shelby is worn out and exhausted. Everyone is either in bed, or on their way there. Hopefully we will all have a good night’s sleep and will wake up refreshed and start again tomorrow.

We will move forward and we will use this as a learning experience and will remember this day. We are a sensational family and this is just another day in our sensational life.