With the new school year starting for my daughter, I knew I wanted to be prepared. I wanted her teacher(s) prepared and I wanted her classmates prepared. So I searched high and low for all the information that I could that was teacher and child friendly on Sensory Processing Disorder. I found a lot of great things, but hands down the best tool that I found was the book "This is Gabriel, Making Sense of School" written by Hartley Steiner
I emailed her teacher to set up a time that I could read the book to her class. I told Shelby that I would be coming and talking about SPD and helping her friends understand it. This kind of set Shelby into panic mode. She instantly was worried about what others would think and how others would react. My husband and I explained to her that no one in her class would know that the book was about her, I would just be reading a story to the class and helping them learn the big words and about their senses...and that while she has SPD no one in her class would know unless she told them.
The morning of the story time came.... Shelby was bouncing off the walls with her anxiety. She had to take a few items with her to school to help herself remain calm, but she went. She greeted me at the door when I came to read the story. The teacher quickly organized the room full of kindergarteners on the circle time mat and I took my seat to read the children the story.
I first asked them how many senses they had? No one really knew, so we started listing them, the kids gave me taste, touch, sight, sound and smell. We started discussing how we used those. And then I brought up proprioception and and vestibular. The kids had no idea what I was talking about so we 'tried' to find these senses on our bodies. We spun in circles and jumped etc and we were able to find out the meaning of these senses... we made sense of them.
We then read the story...
The children were so excited to not only hear the fun story and see the awesome pictures and understand a little bit more about how people can be 'different'.... BUT for the first time EVER I saw my daughter PROUD of her SPD!!!! She loved knowing that "This is Gabriel..." is basically about her too, she loved telling her friends about the whys and how comes of how SPD effects her.. for example she said "That's why I get to stand up when we write our letters" or "that's why my shirt sleeve is wet" etc. SHE WAS PROUD to be HER!!!! It brought so much joy to me to see that for ONCE she wasn't embarressed about being 'different' she was enjoying every second of it...
We taught her classmates the words propreiception and vestibular and 'showed' them what those senses were etc. The kids LOVED it... they were so accepting of ALL OF IT and it literally brought tears not only to my eyes but to the eyes of her teacher and also the aid in the room.... and all it took was a story....
So to the author THANK YOU!!!! Thank you so much for writing this amazing book and for sharing Gabriel's story so that other parents/families/children can help others understand more about their 'quirks' ... but mostly... THANK YOU for giving us this story so that I could FINALLY see my baby girl proud of herself.... THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart... there is NO way that I can EVER repay you.. THANK YOU!!!!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Today I failed my child....
Today was supposed to be the first of many meetings to set up and implement Shelby's IEP for the next school year. I went in prepared.... I knew what I wanted and I also knew what to expect after talking to other special needs parents in my community. Let's just say I got exactly what I expected at this meeting..... Absolutely nothing. I got the song and dance about how Shelby will never qualify for services because her "issues" do not effect her education and she will not qualify for an IEP. Blah blah blah.... The meeting ended with them telling me nothing and me getting nothing.
I made several mistakes during my meeting today, the first being I went alone. I knew that was a mistake before I even entered the room. I have heard story after story about what happens when people go alone and I went alone anyways. Second mistake I let them intimidate me. I let all the letters and degrees behind their names get in the way of my daughters right. O don't care how long they've been a child psyc, or a teacher or even a principal. I have been Shelby's mom for 6 years!!! I know her better than any one of them ever will... Unlike any of them I will never give up on her.
It is now my responsibility to gather the information needed to go forward. I requested today that she be evaluated for OT and will be requesting tomorrow that she be evaluate for speech as well... it seems to be a foot in the door so I'll go with it. But it has now fallen on me to do the 'paper chase' to get the school results of evaluations and notes from my doctors. I refused to sign a release of medical records with the school for our doctors/therapists because frankly.... I don't trust them. Why would I. So I will run around town getting paper work that I am willing to share with them... I will do it will a smile on my face because I know in the long run I am doing what's best for my child and the other children in her class as well.
All in all TODAY I failed my baby.... but I won't do it again!!!
I made several mistakes during my meeting today, the first being I went alone. I knew that was a mistake before I even entered the room. I have heard story after story about what happens when people go alone and I went alone anyways. Second mistake I let them intimidate me. I let all the letters and degrees behind their names get in the way of my daughters right. O don't care how long they've been a child psyc, or a teacher or even a principal. I have been Shelby's mom for 6 years!!! I know her better than any one of them ever will... Unlike any of them I will never give up on her.
It is now my responsibility to gather the information needed to go forward. I requested today that she be evaluated for OT and will be requesting tomorrow that she be evaluate for speech as well... it seems to be a foot in the door so I'll go with it. But it has now fallen on me to do the 'paper chase' to get the school results of evaluations and notes from my doctors. I refused to sign a release of medical records with the school for our doctors/therapists because frankly.... I don't trust them. Why would I. So I will run around town getting paper work that I am willing to share with them... I will do it will a smile on my face because I know in the long run I am doing what's best for my child and the other children in her class as well.
All in all TODAY I failed my baby.... but I won't do it again!!!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Less than Sensational Mommy
Our daughter has been struggling lately.... ALOT.
We have gone through a lot of changes lately...
Graduating from Preschool
Flooding in our town that has affected alot of our family
The kick off program at her 'new' 'big' school.
Storms (rain, thunder etc)
Family changes (displaced family members have been around our home a lot more than usual).
Started our 'first' organized team sport (soccer).
Summer in general-- meaning Mommy isn't the most structured and schedule orientated as she should be.
We have been dealing with alot of meltdowns (they are different than tantrums) because things aren't the way that they 'should' be. We are dealing with a lot of anxiety because things aren't the way they are 'supposed' to be. Schedules aren't working, structure is non-existant in our home as of lately.
My 'fly by the seat of your pants' lifestyle is NOT healthy for my "I need structure and routine" child.... I know this. During the school year it is alot easier because my child is in 'school' for a big portion of my 'crazy' day so I only have to make sure that I structure later in the day. Let's face it... I suck at structure and routine. Plain and Simple... God really messed up when he blessed me with this amazing child. I mean really... apparently he didn't REALLY think it through. I am bound to screw this child up ....
But because of these changes we are also seeing a 'sleep' change which lets face it... SUCK BIG TIME!!! She needs sleep... I need sleep. and quiet frankly, I'm not sure I can survive another night on the couch with a restless 5 year old because she needs the lights on to sleep so that the storms can't get her.
But THIS I can do... I can do the couch night after night cuddled with a very warm active, restless 5 year old who is scared of her own shadow. I may not be able to make her day go right... but I can make her night go better... and if me not sleeping well lets her sleep... then THAT I can do.
I may be the mom of a sensational child, and of a sensational family... but I will never claim to be a sensational mom... because let's face it... lately I have been less than sensational... ALOT.
We have gone through a lot of changes lately...
Graduating from Preschool
Flooding in our town that has affected alot of our family
The kick off program at her 'new' 'big' school.
Storms (rain, thunder etc)
Family changes (displaced family members have been around our home a lot more than usual).
Started our 'first' organized team sport (soccer).
Summer in general-- meaning Mommy isn't the most structured and schedule orientated as she should be.
We have been dealing with alot of meltdowns (they are different than tantrums) because things aren't the way that they 'should' be. We are dealing with a lot of anxiety because things aren't the way they are 'supposed' to be. Schedules aren't working, structure is non-existant in our home as of lately.
My 'fly by the seat of your pants' lifestyle is NOT healthy for my "I need structure and routine" child.... I know this. During the school year it is alot easier because my child is in 'school' for a big portion of my 'crazy' day so I only have to make sure that I structure later in the day. Let's face it... I suck at structure and routine. Plain and Simple... God really messed up when he blessed me with this amazing child. I mean really... apparently he didn't REALLY think it through. I am bound to screw this child up ....
But because of these changes we are also seeing a 'sleep' change which lets face it... SUCK BIG TIME!!! She needs sleep... I need sleep. and quiet frankly, I'm not sure I can survive another night on the couch with a restless 5 year old because she needs the lights on to sleep so that the storms can't get her.
But THIS I can do... I can do the couch night after night cuddled with a very warm active, restless 5 year old who is scared of her own shadow. I may not be able to make her day go right... but I can make her night go better... and if me not sleeping well lets her sleep... then THAT I can do.
I may be the mom of a sensational child, and of a sensational family... but I will never claim to be a sensational mom... because let's face it... lately I have been less than sensational... ALOT.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
SPD Blogger Network
When we first began on our journey with Sensory Processing Disorder we went into full research and find out everything mode. I looked for everything and anything that had even a tad to do with Sensory Processing. I looked for organizations and books and website. By far one of the best websites I found was actually a blog. It is called "Hartley's Life with Three Boys". Hartley being the mom of kiddos with "quirks" was willing to share so much information about her family and how they delt with different situations etc.
I read her blog over and over... and through reading her blog I also happened upon the Blogger Network. The blogger network was basically a 'list' of bloggers who also discussed their children's sensory issues and shared their experiences and advice and offered support to others. It is a wonderful resource but it took a lot to check all the different blogs every day.
Well now it's even easier... now you can go to one site and read several posts/day about the amazing world of sensory processing disorder etc. Anyone can contribute to the blog and editors/moderators will set when posts will publish etc but it's awesome!
There are stories about finding babysitters for our special needs kids, how to deal with 'others', etc. There literally is a post about everything.. and if it isn't there... maybe you could write it and help someone else ...
You should check it out... and in the event that you are a sensational parent and have some stories to share... you should :)
You can find the SPD Blogging Network by following the this link:
http://www.spdbloggernetwork.com/
I promise... you won't be disappointed
Monday, May 9, 2011
It happened...
For some time I have been dreading the "Loose Tooth" that I was knew was coming as Shelby gets older. Shelby has watched her older sister lose teeth and frankly, it hasn't been pretty. Shelby would cry and scream and be in full out meltdown mode as her sister would work her tooth loose and when it would eventually fall out Shelby would scream because of the blood that almost always follows the newly fallen out tooth.
Last Thursday I was sitting at the computer when an email popped up from the girls' teacher (Shelby and her twin sister are in the same class) with the subject line "tooth". This could not possibly end well... as the panic and dread began to fill my system I clicked on the link that opened the email and this is what it said:
So I ask her if she wants me to wrap her up in her hot dog blanket (its a lightly weighted blanket) and she says "No thank you... I can do this". So we sit on the floor and I ask her to open her mouth. I tell her step by step what I am going to do... "Mommy is going to touch your bottom lip now, is that ok", "Mommy is going to wiggle your tooth, is that ok" etc. I barely wiggle the tooth because I am expecting screams and tears... I get none. So I wiggle it a bit more ... still nothing. I realize now that I am going to have to push fairly hard to get the tooth to pop. So I tell her "I have to push hard ok?" she says as best as she can with my fingers in her mouth "Ok mom"....
So I do it... and POP!!! out comes to tooth... her eyes get wide and her smile gets big... well as big as it can with my fingers in her mouth. I quickly grab the q-tips to push into the space that once held her tooth so stop the blood that I knew would make her gag (she did gag, but thankfully we did not throw up)... and she was done!! Once the bleeding stopped she had to call Daddy, Grandma, etc to tell them.
And what does Shelby say when all the phone calls are done and we have all calmed down?
"When is that fairy gonna get here with my money????"
Yep... THAT'S my sensational kiddo :)
Last Thursday I was sitting at the computer when an email popped up from the girls' teacher (Shelby and her twin sister are in the same class) with the subject line "tooth". This could not possibly end well... as the panic and dread began to fill my system I clicked on the link that opened the email and this is what it said:
Kristin,
Shelby was eating her banana at lunch and not sure how
But bit down just right and her bottom tooth is very loose!
She had a bit of “freak out” but now she is ok.
She wanted me to call so I said I would email you.
:)Denise
OK... we can deal with this right? I got this email about 25 minutess before the girls' were dropped off by the bus... so I started getting myself ready. I was thinking of what I was going to say, how I was going to comfort her etc. I had a plan in hand and I was prepared... or so I thought.
I see the bus stop in front of my house and the dread fills my body... it has been such a good day and I just KNEW that this was going to put an end to it all.
I walk to the end of the drive to get the girls and Shelby bounds off the bus and says "Mom, my tooth is loose... let's get it out. Can you pull it out please?"..... huh?
I stand there for a moment in shock... and even look around to make sure there aren't cameras somewhere and this was an episode of "PUNKED" --- does anyone but me remember that show??? You know Ashton Kutcher pre Demi Moore???--- anyways.
We head into the house and I get some tissues and a few q-tips, I was expecting it to bleed. I ask to see the tooth and it is sooooooooooooo loose, it is barely hanging on.
So I do it... and POP!!! out comes to tooth... her eyes get wide and her smile gets big... well as big as it can with my fingers in her mouth. I quickly grab the q-tips to push into the space that once held her tooth so stop the blood that I knew would make her gag (she did gag, but thankfully we did not throw up)... and she was done!! Once the bleeding stopped she had to call Daddy, Grandma, etc to tell them.
And what does Shelby say when all the phone calls are done and we have all calmed down?
"When is that fairy gonna get here with my money????"
Yep... THAT'S my sensational kiddo :)
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Book Review: This is Gabriel Making Sense of School
When I started out on the journey to discover as much as I could about Sensory Processing Disorder and the other conditions my children have I happened up on a blog called "Hartley's Life with 3 Boys". This blog and its author have been a god send to myself and my family.
Hartley shares the good, the bad, and most importantly the honest aspects of Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety etc. on her blog... and its all REAL!!! After I had spentdays and weeks a couple of minutes looking through the many posts on Hartley's Life with 3 Boys, I noticed that she has also written a book about Sensory Processing Disorder, and it is called "This is Gabriel Making Sense of School: A Book about Sensory Processing Disorder".
Hartley shares the good, the bad, and most importantly the honest aspects of Sensory Processing Disorder, Anxiety etc. on her blog... and its all REAL!!! After I had spent
This book QUICKLY went on my MUST HAVE LIST.... and let me tell you it was certainly worth it! Not only does Gabriel Making Sense of School talk to kids (and some adults) on a level that everyone can understand, it also fully describes why our children do the things they do and why we need to help them and to understand that it is more than a 'choice' for them.
As soon as the book came in the mail, I sat down and read it, and then I read it again and again and again. And it taught me something each and every time I read it. For example, I had know for a long time that we had 5 senses ( taste, smell, sight, hearing, touch), but do you know we actually have 7 which include vestibular and proprioception. We had talked about Vestibular and Propriocention input etc at OT but I never in my life realized that it was a 'sense'. Who knew.... Hartley did :)
Once I had read this book a million times I then read it to my children (ages 7, 5, 5, and 3) and my 7 year old who has always struggled with understanding her sister looked at me and said "Mommy... I get it!!! I get why Shelby is the way she is"... and I beamed ... "Yes Delainey... that is why Shelby is the way she is"...
It was then that Delainey said something that I've been thinking for a long time myself "Brody has this too huh mom?"....
So long story short... BUY THIS BOOK!!!! I will be buying more this fall to hand out to my daughter's kindergarten teacher and also another book for my son's preschool teacher. It is HANDSDOWN the best book on the market when it comes to relating SPD to not only children... but adults as well.
Thank you Hartley for helping not only me but my family understand Sensory Processing Disorder a little bit more.!!!
You can purchase this book by visiting THIS LINK!!! Amazon has amazing service and really fast shipping!!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Sometimes I'm jealous
Let me 'paint' you a picture....
You are standing in line at the grocery store and you have all your children with you (in my case this would be 4, ages 3-7). You have had a fairly successful trip. There was only one minor meltdown and that was because the lights are to bright and some 'kind' person had commented to your child about how he didn't need his sunglasses on 'in' the store, especially since it was dark outside. You are even beginning to think you are going to make it through the store as a successful shopping trip.
That's when the person ahead of you in line begins to complain.... they are complaining about the price of the milk, then that the cashier isn't putting things in the bags the proper way, and why didn't they ask if they wanted paper bags rather than plastic....it just keeps going. Someone obviously is having a bad day and it taking it out on some innocent bystander who, let's face doesn't get paid enough to put up with this kind of crap.
AND THEN IT HAPPENS.....
Your child pipes up (of course in a loud voice).... "You don't have to be so mean. They are just doing their job".
The mom in you wants to do one of two things.... 1) pray the the floor instantly produces a giant sink hole, that transports you and your groceries into your home without the person ahead of you ever actually seeing your face and 2) jump for joy because you child is starting to pick up the differences in conversation and what is polite and proper versus impolite and rude. I mean come on lets face it... this is hard to do when you can't pick up sarcasm or for some people/kids even the difference in tone of voice.
There is one more thing that is going through your mind.... and that is wanting to scream from the mountain tops " NO KIDDING!!!!".
Let's face it... we have all the those moments where our child (special needs or not) has said something that while socially unacceptable and probably not correct, we ourselves were thinking and were just DYING to say... but our social etiquette stopped us.
These are the moments that I look at my now 5 year old and stare at her in awe.... because of her 'quirks' she can speak her mind, and we can 'pretend' that we are appauled by what she is saying, but inside we are celebrating that she didn't need the 'guts' to say it.
I think my "brother" (he is actually my cousin but we are closer than most siblings) said it best one day as I was apologizing for Shelby's 'frankness' and telling her she had to speak properly to adults, he looked at me and said "Kristin... I like that kid"... I of course looked at him rather puzzled since she has just seconds before said something very inappropriate "She tells it like it is and has no problem doing so... That's the way to do it"
It is moments like this that I am jealous of her uniqueness... and wish just once or twice I could work up the nerve to say what I am thinking.
You are standing in line at the grocery store and you have all your children with you (in my case this would be 4, ages 3-7). You have had a fairly successful trip. There was only one minor meltdown and that was because the lights are to bright and some 'kind' person had commented to your child about how he didn't need his sunglasses on 'in' the store, especially since it was dark outside. You are even beginning to think you are going to make it through the store as a successful shopping trip.
That's when the person ahead of you in line begins to complain.... they are complaining about the price of the milk, then that the cashier isn't putting things in the bags the proper way, and why didn't they ask if they wanted paper bags rather than plastic....it just keeps going. Someone obviously is having a bad day and it taking it out on some innocent bystander who, let's face doesn't get paid enough to put up with this kind of crap.
AND THEN IT HAPPENS.....
Your child pipes up (of course in a loud voice).... "You don't have to be so mean. They are just doing their job".
The mom in you wants to do one of two things.... 1) pray the the floor instantly produces a giant sink hole, that transports you and your groceries into your home without the person ahead of you ever actually seeing your face and 2) jump for joy because you child is starting to pick up the differences in conversation and what is polite and proper versus impolite and rude. I mean come on lets face it... this is hard to do when you can't pick up sarcasm or for some people/kids even the difference in tone of voice.
There is one more thing that is going through your mind.... and that is wanting to scream from the mountain tops " NO KIDDING!!!!".
Let's face it... we have all the those moments where our child (special needs or not) has said something that while socially unacceptable and probably not correct, we ourselves were thinking and were just DYING to say... but our social etiquette stopped us.
These are the moments that I look at my now 5 year old and stare at her in awe.... because of her 'quirks' she can speak her mind, and we can 'pretend' that we are appauled by what she is saying, but inside we are celebrating that she didn't need the 'guts' to say it.
I think my "brother" (he is actually my cousin but we are closer than most siblings) said it best one day as I was apologizing for Shelby's 'frankness' and telling her she had to speak properly to adults, he looked at me and said "Kristin... I like that kid"... I of course looked at him rather puzzled since she has just seconds before said something very inappropriate "She tells it like it is and has no problem doing so... That's the way to do it"
It is moments like this that I am jealous of her uniqueness... and wish just once or twice I could work up the nerve to say what I am thinking.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Amazing Give-a-way
Soft Clothing for All Children and The SPD Blogger Network are co-sponsoring an incredible Sensory Friendly Spring Giveaway! 2 Grand Prizes will be given (one for boys, one for girls), and will each include the following sensory friendly items, which focus on fine motor development, dramatic play skills, sensory integration, creative expression, auditory exploration, and of course, fun! Whatever holiday or season your family celebrates, there is something in this stocking for someone you love!
Links you may need for your entries:
SPD Blogger Network
Your Sensory Prizes!
Puffy Easter Basket (Chick) Pottery Barn Kids (boys prize)
Puffy Easter Basket (Rabbit) from Pottery Barn Kids (girls prize)
"I'll Tell You Why I Can't Wear Those Clothes," by Noreen O'Sullivan
Soft Seamless Sock 2-pack
Vestibular Wedge
Sensory Body Sock
Alex Toys Monster Bubbles
Alex Toys Sack Racing: Frog and Monkey
Squiglet Fidget Bracelets
One complete Springy Soft look for girls OR
One complete Springy Soft look for boys
To enter this give away you can visit THIS LINK and see the way that you can enter (multiple times) for this amazing gift basket. ENJOY
Saturday, April 2, 2011
it started with a birthday party
It all started with a birthday party…
All four of our children were invited to a birthday party (the kids’ birthday that is mom and I are friends therefor the kids are friends). I of course RSVP’d that we would be there with bells on. I told the kids, they were excited…heck so was I.
There were several things that I didn’t think about when I RSVP’d for the party. I didn’t think about the fact that they were serving pizza (two of my children don’t like pizza… specifically Shelby), I didn’t think about the fact that the party started just an hour before bedtime, nor did I think about the fact that it was on a Friday (Fridays are pretty much always a ‘meltdown’ day). But what I REALLY didn’t take into account was the fact that it was going to be held at a bowling alley.
We got to the party 5 minutes late and it struck me like a ton of bricks when we walked in the door… it was loud and bright and did I mention loud? We quickly found the group that was our party and got ‘settled’… well as settled as you can get in a bowling alley on a Friday night.
Our group was sat next to a group of adult guys who weren’t exactly expecting to be in the middle of a bunch of kids for a birthday party…. They were drinking and possibly using some words that shouldn’t have been used in front of children…. They tried hard to clean up their act – without even being asked—but that didn’t stop my children from commenting on the bad choices and of course my child who ‘lacks a filter’ had no problem telling the guys that their choices were “NOT APPROPRIATE” very loudly.
Bowling didn’t go well … she didn’t understand why it was so loud or why it was taking so long for it to be her turn… or how another child’s name was similar to hers and would notice the letters thinking it was her name and it wasn’t.
We sat down for pizza… she didn’t get to sit where she wanted.
She didn’t get the cupcake she wanted…. She had to wait for the one she did.
All the while she kept it together. There were no meltdowns. There was no crying.
Yesterday that is.
Today however we are paying like the dickens.
We are melting down at the drop of the hat.
We are crying. We are sassing. We are tantruming. We are screaming.
And today was a new ‘high’ for us… we experienced raging. This is not something we have ever had before.
She recently learned how to tell us why she is ‘mad’ ‘sad’ or whatever emotion she is feeling today she has not been able to do any of that.
She has been in swimming lessons for several months in the same class… today was testing day. We thought for certain she was going to pass… she has all the skills. But because she was so over-sensoried today she failed. She wasn’t able to follow through with a single request of the instructors; she wouldn’t even get into the water.
Today was a hard day in the life of our sensational family… it is 8pm and my husband and I are both exhausted and worn out. Shelby is worn out and exhausted. Everyone is either in bed, or on their way there. Hopefully we will all have a good night’s sleep and will wake up refreshed and start again tomorrow.
We will move forward and we will use this as a learning experience and will remember this day. We are a sensational family and this is just another day in our sensational life.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
A post from June 2009
This post was previously posted on our now private family blog, it was dated June 12, 2009. This was roughly 5 months after Shelby's diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder.
This is the face of SPD… Sensory Processing Disorder. If you saw her on a good day you would never know there was anything ‘wrong’ (and I use that term loosely because frankly… I think she is perfect). But if you saw her on an off day… you would write her off as the biggest brat and me (or my husband) as the worst parent on the face of the earth.
I am sad. I am angry. I am ungrateful. I am confused. I mourn. But mostly I am frustrated.
My child has sensory processing disorder. This disorder is not as uncommon as people think (it just seems that no one famous has told us their child suffers from it so therefore it doesn’t exist). There are several tools and therapies that can help a child who suffers from this life altering disorder. The therapies and tools that can help with this disorder are expensive, hard to find and mostly NOT COVERED BY INSURANCE.
I watch my daughter struggle daily because of things that other children pay no attention to. For example…today she was at the park she was able to climb the bars up to the top of the slide…but once she got to the top, she realized that the ‘floor’ that she was standing on was a grate (covered in rubber and posed no real threat to her safety). This grate cause my child who just moments before had the biggest smile radiating the greatest sense of accomplishment --- 6 months ago she would have never been able to pull her body weight up with her arms to climb the rungs of the ladder), now had her paralyzed with fear…because she now knew she wasn’t (in her mind) on solid ground.
She loves to swing high, run fast and spin faster. She wakes up rip raring to go and doesn’t stop until she literally drops exhausted from the way her ‘engine’ has been driving her all day long. Her bones are light and thankfully flexible, her tendons are so loose she sprains her ankles and wrists several times a day – but thankfully does not get injured--, she goes so fast that her little body can just not keep up with her, she falls daily—several times in fact, she CRAVES touch and cannot get close enough but needs to be in control of just who is touching her. She is fearless but is so scared.
Today I crumbled… today I cried… and I mean sobbed in the hospital hallway. You see Shelby had recently had to be ‘re-evaluated’ because SPD isn’t a ‘recognized diagnosis’ with our health insurance or our public school system—side note, if Shelby were to be labeled with her mild CP (yes Shelby does in fact have mild CP caused from a brain bleed prior to birth) or as autistic (which she is not... most children who are autistic do have SPD, but a child/person can have SPD without being on the Autism Spectrum) then our insurance or school system would not be able make us jump through hoops or do the damn dance that we have to, but because we have her ‘only’ labeled as SPD she is screwed—she has to undergo more than average amount of testing to make sure that she still ‘needs’ therapy. Well today I got the call from our AWESOME occupational therapist that our insurance had finally finished evaluating – it took them 3 weeks mind you--- 3 weeks she was not ‘allowed’ to go to therapy session—so that we could come in for therapy today. When I arrived I was given my copy of the report that the OT had sent to our insurance. It was because of this report that I was sobbing in the hallway of the hospital. If you read this report you not knowing my child you would think …. I don’t even know what you would think. It was just so much worse on paper than in real life. And it wasn’t even what was written… it was the fact that a lot of it is true. I won’t go into the specifics because that is obviously her story and since she is 3 she may not want it shared with the entire world… but it made me sad.
She is so much more than ‘just’ an SPD kid. Shelby has been a fighter from the very beginning of her life—since conception really and will continue to be...with Chad and I at her side. She (we are fairly certain) is the polar body that should have not fertilized. – Ok.. prior to fertilization my egg split in what is considered a polar body twinning, well in 99.5% of cases the polar body is supposed to die off… but in our case we were lucky enough to ‘get’ a Shelby out of the deal—she is the twin that wasn’t growing for awhile, she is the twin who’s placenta keep partially detaching, she is the twin who thought it would be fun to have decreases in heart rates and not respond AT ALL during non-stress tests during our pregnancy. She is the baby who thought it would be fun to not do anything that was expected of her…ever. She is our Shelby… she is a perfect and unique gift from God and she is ours. We are blessed beyond words to have her (and the rest of our children as well) in our lives.
As for my anger… I am angry that others think they can judge her because of an off day. I am angry because I and Chad have known since the very beginning that ‘something’ just wasn’t the way it was with our other children and were ignored--- time and time again. It wasn’t until the amazing Dr. Goldstein entered our lives did things start to click and make sense. Dr. Goldstein has been a godsend for Shelby and for us.
I have made it my mission to make myself SHELBY’S VOICE… and the voice of every other parent and child who is suffering from Sensory Processing Disorder. The treatment that my daughter, and other SPD children receive is NOT RIGHT … it is discrimination. It is my mission to make people aware of SPD and the children and families that it affects...it is my mission to make sure that MY CHILD, and ANY CHILD and FAMILY who is affected by SPD recieves the help they need.... I may not be famous... but I sure am LOUD :)
I AM A SENSATIONAL MOM OF A SENSATIONAL CHILD.... and I am happy that I am!
This is the face of SPD… Sensory Processing Disorder. If you saw her on a good day you would never know there was anything ‘wrong’ (and I use that term loosely because frankly… I think she is perfect). But if you saw her on an off day… you would write her off as the biggest brat and me (or my husband) as the worst parent on the face of the earth.
I am sad. I am angry. I am ungrateful. I am confused. I mourn. But mostly I am frustrated.
My child has sensory processing disorder. This disorder is not as uncommon as people think (it just seems that no one famous has told us their child suffers from it so therefore it doesn’t exist). There are several tools and therapies that can help a child who suffers from this life altering disorder. The therapies and tools that can help with this disorder are expensive, hard to find and mostly NOT COVERED BY INSURANCE.
I watch my daughter struggle daily because of things that other children pay no attention to. For example…today she was at the park she was able to climb the bars up to the top of the slide…but once she got to the top, she realized that the ‘floor’ that she was standing on was a grate (covered in rubber and posed no real threat to her safety). This grate cause my child who just moments before had the biggest smile radiating the greatest sense of accomplishment --- 6 months ago she would have never been able to pull her body weight up with her arms to climb the rungs of the ladder), now had her paralyzed with fear…because she now knew she wasn’t (in her mind) on solid ground.
She loves to swing high, run fast and spin faster. She wakes up rip raring to go and doesn’t stop until she literally drops exhausted from the way her ‘engine’ has been driving her all day long. Her bones are light and thankfully flexible, her tendons are so loose she sprains her ankles and wrists several times a day – but thankfully does not get injured--, she goes so fast that her little body can just not keep up with her, she falls daily—several times in fact, she CRAVES touch and cannot get close enough but needs to be in control of just who is touching her. She is fearless but is so scared.
Today I crumbled… today I cried… and I mean sobbed in the hospital hallway. You see Shelby had recently had to be ‘re-evaluated’ because SPD isn’t a ‘recognized diagnosis’ with our health insurance or our public school system—side note, if Shelby were to be labeled with her mild CP (yes Shelby does in fact have mild CP caused from a brain bleed prior to birth) or as autistic (which she is not... most children who are autistic do have SPD, but a child/person can have SPD without being on the Autism Spectrum) then our insurance or school system would not be able make us jump through hoops or do the damn dance that we have to, but because we have her ‘only’ labeled as SPD she is screwed—she has to undergo more than average amount of testing to make sure that she still ‘needs’ therapy. Well today I got the call from our AWESOME occupational therapist that our insurance had finally finished evaluating – it took them 3 weeks mind you--- 3 weeks she was not ‘allowed’ to go to therapy session—so that we could come in for therapy today. When I arrived I was given my copy of the report that the OT had sent to our insurance. It was because of this report that I was sobbing in the hallway of the hospital. If you read this report you not knowing my child you would think …. I don’t even know what you would think. It was just so much worse on paper than in real life. And it wasn’t even what was written… it was the fact that a lot of it is true. I won’t go into the specifics because that is obviously her story and since she is 3 she may not want it shared with the entire world… but it made me sad.
She is so much more than ‘just’ an SPD kid. Shelby has been a fighter from the very beginning of her life—since conception really and will continue to be...with Chad and I at her side. She (we are fairly certain) is the polar body that should have not fertilized. – Ok.. prior to fertilization my egg split in what is considered a polar body twinning, well in 99.5% of cases the polar body is supposed to die off… but in our case we were lucky enough to ‘get’ a Shelby out of the deal—she is the twin that wasn’t growing for awhile, she is the twin who’s placenta keep partially detaching, she is the twin who thought it would be fun to have decreases in heart rates and not respond AT ALL during non-stress tests during our pregnancy. She is the baby who thought it would be fun to not do anything that was expected of her…ever. She is our Shelby… she is a perfect and unique gift from God and she is ours. We are blessed beyond words to have her (and the rest of our children as well) in our lives.
As for my anger… I am angry that others think they can judge her because of an off day. I am angry because I and Chad have known since the very beginning that ‘something’ just wasn’t the way it was with our other children and were ignored--- time and time again. It wasn’t until the amazing Dr. Goldstein entered our lives did things start to click and make sense. Dr. Goldstein has been a godsend for Shelby and for us.
I have made it my mission to make myself SHELBY’S VOICE… and the voice of every other parent and child who is suffering from Sensory Processing Disorder. The treatment that my daughter, and other SPD children receive is NOT RIGHT … it is discrimination. It is my mission to make people aware of SPD and the children and families that it affects...it is my mission to make sure that MY CHILD, and ANY CHILD and FAMILY who is affected by SPD recieves the help they need.... I may not be famous... but I sure am LOUD :)
I AM A SENSATIONAL MOM OF A SENSATIONAL CHILD.... and I am happy that I am!
If I had a quarter...
I wish I had a quarter for every time someone has called my sensational child a brat, I’d be rich and none of us would be worrying about how to pay the out of pocket expenses for our multiple therapies, medications, appointments etc.
When our daughter, Shelby, was given her alphabet soup (this is what my husband uses to refer to her multiple diagnoses, SPD to be one of them) I used to think that the reason people didn’t understand about Sensory Processing Disorder was simply because no one knew anything about it,that it was rare and uncommon…especially in our neck of the woods. This was in 2009. A lot had changed since 2009 in the areas of SPD and ASD.
I set out on a mission to learn as much as I could about SPD and share it was as many people as I could. I have been able to learn a lot thanks to the amazing authors, therapists, and other families with sensational children. I feel like I am ‘doing my part’ in educating the world about the uniqueness that is my daughter and the thousands of children like her. I felt like a success.
With this feeling also comes the feeling of failure because the people who should understand my daughter the most…don’t. Our families, very few of our family members have taken the time to listen to what my husband and I have tried to tell them about Sensory Processing Disorder, in fact most of them would be funding our therapies if I in fact did receive a quarter for every time someone called her a brat, or told me “If you’d just spank her, she’d fly right”.
It is our families that cause her the most anxiety… the people in this world who should love her the most and accept her for the awesome miracle that she is, are the ones who understand her the least and are the first to call her a ‘brat’ and some very special family members have even gone so far to use the “r” word (at a family function in front of her and our other children mind you). It is these people who should be the ones supporting us in this excursion of life that cause us all the most pain.
But my amazing miracle of a little girl hasn’t let that get her down. In the 2 years since she received her diagnoses and began therapy she has met the goals that we have set for her and often flew right on by what we have expected of her. She has slowly climbed out of the dark hole that she was falling into and has once again returned to the amazing blue eyed happy girl (most days) who smiles and communicates with us all.She has come from babbling words that no one could understand, even us as her parents, to talking your ear of and making complete sense. She will now initiate a conversation with a stranger (probably not the safest choice, but it’s better than the screaming that used to happen when a stranger would look at her). She has gone from missing at least one day a week of school because of the lack of support and understanding of the teachers to this year looking forward to school every day, and in fact cries on no school days (THIS IS HUGE).
But these struggles do not define her… anyone who meets Shelby leaves with a smile on their face…even if she is having an off day…. She is an amazing sensational child and I am so lucky that I was chosen to be her mom… and I thank my stars every single day for her and her amazing siblings…
People often comment on if she will ever be ‘fixed’… and as most of us know, she isn’t broken, but I can tell you she has fixed me for the better.
When our daughter, Shelby, was given her alphabet soup (this is what my husband uses to refer to her multiple diagnoses, SPD to be one of them) I used to think that the reason people didn’t understand about Sensory Processing Disorder was simply because no one knew anything about it,that it was rare and uncommon…especially in our neck of the woods. This was in 2009. A lot had changed since 2009 in the areas of SPD and ASD.
I set out on a mission to learn as much as I could about SPD and share it was as many people as I could. I have been able to learn a lot thanks to the amazing authors, therapists, and other families with sensational children. I feel like I am ‘doing my part’ in educating the world about the uniqueness that is my daughter and the thousands of children like her. I felt like a success.
With this feeling also comes the feeling of failure because the people who should understand my daughter the most…don’t. Our families, very few of our family members have taken the time to listen to what my husband and I have tried to tell them about Sensory Processing Disorder, in fact most of them would be funding our therapies if I in fact did receive a quarter for every time someone called her a brat, or told me “If you’d just spank her, she’d fly right”.
It is our families that cause her the most anxiety… the people in this world who should love her the most and accept her for the awesome miracle that she is, are the ones who understand her the least and are the first to call her a ‘brat’ and some very special family members have even gone so far to use the “r” word (at a family function in front of her and our other children mind you). It is these people who should be the ones supporting us in this excursion of life that cause us all the most pain.
But my amazing miracle of a little girl hasn’t let that get her down. In the 2 years since she received her diagnoses and began therapy she has met the goals that we have set for her and often flew right on by what we have expected of her. She has slowly climbed out of the dark hole that she was falling into and has once again returned to the amazing blue eyed happy girl (most days) who smiles and communicates with us all.She has come from babbling words that no one could understand, even us as her parents, to talking your ear of and making complete sense. She will now initiate a conversation with a stranger (probably not the safest choice, but it’s better than the screaming that used to happen when a stranger would look at her). She has gone from missing at least one day a week of school because of the lack of support and understanding of the teachers to this year looking forward to school every day, and in fact cries on no school days (THIS IS HUGE).
But these struggles do not define her… anyone who meets Shelby leaves with a smile on their face…even if she is having an off day…. She is an amazing sensational child and I am so lucky that I was chosen to be her mom… and I thank my stars every single day for her and her amazing siblings…
People often comment on if she will ever be ‘fixed’… and as most of us know, she isn’t broken, but I can tell you she has fixed me for the better.
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